My Purpose - How to Use Cats to Get Attention

Beth Stern's recent TV shows have been disastrous, as Mom Caves and Spoiled Rotten Pets were both "one season and done" and a pilot for Gossip Cop never even made it on the air.  Beth is now "all in" for reinventing herself as a self-proclaimed animal expert/activist.  

It's full steam ahead as the November release date for her new book (Yoda: The Story of a Cat and His Kittens) draws closer.  So far, most of the publicity has come from Beth's Instagram and Twitter accounts, as well as former Stern-show intern (turned unofficial minister of Stern propaganda)  Marianne Garvey of the NY Daily News.

On Tuesday, Beth took a break from her constant posting of selfies and kitten pictures on Instagram and hopped in a limo to New York City in order to visit the Sirius/XM studios.  Apparently Beth is having Robin Quivers narrate the audio version of her Yoda book.  This is quite an amazing recovery for rotund Robin, as the wigged vegan had just backed out of attending the Texas Veggie Fair at the last minute due to what was described as an "extreme personal situation". 

Beth mentioned that Robin was 'perfect' to tell Yoda's story.  Granted, no one wants to hear Beth's screechy voice narrate a book, but it is an interesting decision to have an obese, old and childless woman tell the fictional story of a male cat who dreams of being a 'supercat'.

Fun fact:  Scott Salem also did the recording for the "Birth Day" album by Howard's daughter Emily Stern - her Zoo Za Zoo track seems to be especially well-liked by reviewers on Amazon.  Perhaps  this studio was the same place that Emily recorded the dulcet melodies and other odd sounds heard on the album.

Beth has yet to announce any book signings or TV appearances to promote the amazing new book, although she is taking time out of her busy schedule to do more Kitten Bowl filming and will be a presenter at the upcoming WebMD Health Heroes Awards, at which a red carpet and photo op will likely be present.  She posed for a picture with former NFL quarterback Boomer Esiason, who is embarrassing himself by being involved with some fantasy football Kitten Bowl stunt -  her hands are almost as big as his.  

While Beth will take any sort of appearances and gigs she can get, one can only imagine that it has to be a bit embarrassing for Howard's kids to see step mom make a fool of herself with this cat lady persona.  Howard has made enough money for them to pay for the entire kitten wing that will allegedly be the recipient of proceeds from the Yoda book - it's surprising that the animal lovers don't just pony up the cash to get the project moving, but doing that would deprive Beth of chances to make public appearances.

Revolution - AARP Style

Howard Stern is a skinny 60 year old man who still has a bit of belly fat (ease up on the portions of almonds!) but he likes to dress like a skateboarder in an attempt to maintain a youthful rebel image.

However, the aging former shock jock fills his satellite radio show (which airs 2-3 days per week) with a lot of guests who are not exactly spring chickens.

Here's a sampling of the guests that Howard has had on the air so far in 2014 (age as of appearance date):

Five guests in their 80s:

Name	Age
Robert Duvall	83
Dan Rather	82
Willie Nelson	81
Joan Rivers	80
Larry King	80

Four guests in their 70s:

Name	Age
George Takei	77
Valerie Harper	74
Smokey Robinson	74
Richard Williams	72

Twelve guests in their 60s:

Name	Age
Danny Trejo	69
Donovan	68
Donald Trump	68
Neil Young	68
Jeff Bridges	64
Joe Perry	64
Bill Murray	64
John Mellencamp	63
Sharon Osbourne	62
Harvey Weinstein	61
Roseanne Barr	61
Kevin Nealon	60

He also has mixed in some 'younger' guests who are in their late 50s:

Name	Age
Jerry Seinfeld	59
Al Roker	59
Carol Leifer	58
Billy Idol	58
Katie Couric	57
Matt Lauer	56

  

Most of these "big names" aren't exclusively appearing on the Stern show and many of them are going on as many shows as possible to pimp their latest projects.

It's too bad that Howard doesn't have the same listening base that he did before his "Revolution" - recently, Robert Downey Jr. (a youngster not even AARP-eligible!) visited the show to promote his new movie the Judge, but for some reason the millions of Stern fans didn't show up at the box office and it finished in fifth place for its opening weekend.

Vapid Foster Mom Is

Poor Yoda the purebred Persian cat has been ill recently but has recovered (another miracle!) so that he can serve as the main photo prop of his 'mom' Beth Stern. 

Beth is a self-glossed animal advocate and unlike many PETA activists, she is often seen wearing leather jackets and shoes and has a massive collection of leather purses.  Beth is also featured on the West Coast Leather website.

For over a year she has been using Bianca's Furry Friends, a proposed addition to the North Shore Animal League facility, as a way to bolster her animal-friendly image - fans of her husband are often asked to shell out their hard-earned money to help fund this $7 million project, as the Sterns are busy spending their own dough on extravagant mansions, remodeling of said monstrosities and lots of shopping at expensive stores.

Beth has no shame and unloaded a barrage of pictures of Yoda in the last few days:

  * Yoda in a sea of gigantic gold shoes

  * Lighted shoe cubbies FTW :

  * Chilling in Howard's Manhattan penthouse:

  *Rolling in a limo passing by the peasants

The comments on Beth's social media posts are from followers who provide positive comments about Beth's beauty or say that the kitty is adorable - any comments which point out the hard truth are quickly removed.  Many of the folks who constantly praise Beth are too slow to realize that she's using the Persian cat to cover how she's flaunting her wealth in their faces while asking them to give money to the NSAL for the kitten wing named after her dead bulldog.  Yoda better get used to lots of photo ops, as Beth will probably roll out plenty of pictures of him as the release of her new book Yoda: The Story of a Cat and Kittens gets closer.  It is hard to believe that Beth needed a contributor (K.A. Alistir) to help write this simple book.